Six Tips for Successfully Using International Online Dating Sites: Part 1   Leave a comment

There are hundreds, if not thousands, of online dating sites appealing to people who want to date, marry or whatever with people from other cultures, countries and persuasions. Each has their flavor; their following; and their own fee structures. Across the globe, there are hundreds of thousands of people, if not millions, on these sites looking for romance, marriage or whatever. I have used some of these sites and met some wonderful people. Some of whom are still in my life, as friends. I have also found some pretty crazy and manipulative individuals who find lying, stealing and jumping into your bed as easy as breathing. There are few rules and almost no police to govern abuses, before or after a meeting occurs. Whatever happens, happens! So, the first advice is to be careful – always. These sites have given me a short cut to meeting people, learning Spanish and looking for business opportunities. I have paid the “learner’s tax” and offer some tips to increase your opportunities for success.

Narrow your choices before you begin

Online dating internationally is a very different playing field from online dating in one’s own country. Knowing why you want to be with someone from another part of the world is really critical. Ask yourself that question. And have an answer that makes sense. You are likely to find that someplace along the way, if someone has interest in you, they will ask the reason you are traveling thousands of miles from home to meet someone when there are available folks in your hometown. What is it about that culture? Are your fantasies just that, fantasies? What do you know about their religion and its effect on people’s attitudes and values? Knowing where you want your new love to be from and why is critical to making good decisions. If you have decided on a country, do you know that each part has its own culture? There is a real difference between Costenas (people who live on the coast of Colombia) and Paisas (people who live in the interior). San Jose, Costa Rica is home to Nicaraguans, Colombians, Costa Ricans and a host of other different Latin cultures? Identify the part of the world that you want your mate to come from then do your homework. Know who lives there. Online dating, internationally, means that you are seeking a relationship in a culture that you do not know. Most likely language will be different. Values will be different. The meaning of things is different. Find the online dating site or sites that offer thumbnails, no matter how brief, to the people you want to meet. The only way to make sure your investment of time, energy and money is going to bear fruit is to make sure that someone from this part of the world fits your life, your values and is likely to bring you the happiness you seek.

Beware hidden costs and people who pad their lists

The cost of online dating sites can be relatively inexpensive. But this can also be a lure to get you in the door. This a multi-billion dollar business for a reason. That is why many sites show the young, beautiful men and women (sometimes in very suggestive poses) on their home pages. Remember there is no guarantee that the people they are showing as being members actually are available. I had one agency tell me, “Oh, we need to remove her photo, she has not been around for more than a year.” Remember, they are selling the fantasy. Before deciding, know what you are going to pay and for what period of time your membership will allow you to participate. Some sites charge for everything from sending an email message to sending a letter to sending gifts/flowers to their translation services to selling lists of people who they say are interested in you. These charges can add up. Unfortunately, some online sites/agencies will pay or urge people to write to you generating business for them. So, if you write, pay for translation services and send something then the interest suddenly goes away you know you have been had.

Know who you want in your life

Let’s say that you have decided on the city or region of the world you want your new love, friend of whatever to come from. And you have decided on one or more online sites to use. The next step is to have a sense of who you are looking for. What are their qualities? What do they look like? How old do you want them to be? Education? Children? Make a list. Dream a little. You will likely find that, if you have some of the basic stuff going for you – good manners, a job or income, are decently groomed, have good hygiene, and a desire to learn another culture – you will have choices available to you that did not exist before. Having said that – be realistic. A 65 year old man receiving only social security will probably have a different appeal than a 65 year old rich dude. A 45 year old with all the basic stuff, and a treat a woman right attitude, may find himself with the hottest 22 year old woman he has ever met. Regardless of the job he holds. Don’t get dazzled by the people who say they are interested in you. Remember, there are thousands of people just like you trying to get the attention of the person they think they like or want. And some of them are likely to want to get with the same person you do. Getting someone’s attention, and keeping it, establishing a connection, so that they keep talking with you is critical. There are internet sites out here to help you write a great profile, ad, or introduction letter. Use them, their helpful hints work. Do not be daunted when a person of interest loses interest in you. And do not hesitate to move on if you lose interest. This is where the sheer volume of the people on these sites will help. It may take months. It may take years. Be patient. Good things do come to those who are diligent. And remember, meeting online is just the start of the dance. There is more, way more, to do before going to the altar.

Posted August 31, 2011 by Wayne in Uncategorized

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